The name said it all....

Sometimes when you want something to work so bad you succumb to things that you shouldn't. Your blinded by the lies because you want so badly for someday somehow for those lies to actually be the truth.I mean his name said it all his initals...BS. hahaha and that's exactly what he was full of. i mean he sketched out plenty of times but i still put myself in that situation. i kept allowing myself to see him and hang out with him. In the end i knew to stay away cuz i'd get hurt. He told me everything i wanted to know the last time it happend. How even though i was moving in a month and a half he still wanted to be with me. how we'd make it work somehow. Until the very next night i caught him in a lie. I was living in denial i kept thinking to myself he truly is there with his dad. WRONG. i knew i couldn't deny it when my girl caught him at a party. Psh, needless to say that was the end of him. The next day when i comfronted him and the lies kept poreing out i mean at what point did he not realize that he was caught!! STOP i caught you. and he had nothing to say after that. Me being stupid even gave him a chance to talk to me about everything. and still nothing.

& the guy before, split after one fight. everything was going good up until our first fight. Instead of working it out he found it an excuse to leave. Which is fine because both of these guys are NOTHING that i wanted. so why did i want them?? They didn't act the way i wanted them to. One of their lifestyles were competely a turn offf. The other did things that seemed immature. But i just long for that companion. Someone to hold me and be there for me. Someone that makes my heart pound, or STILL gives me the butterflies everytime we are together. I believe he is in utah right now. or used to be. I still have a thing for this boy in utah but i should walk away. Hes gone for 2 yrs and if when he comes back im not with someone or married i guess it is meant to be. That is if everything falls into place like id want.

Utah.....