Have you ever....

Have you ever searched for something and nothing is all you've found?
Have you ever wanted something so bad you can hardly stand it, it's all you think about?
You cant sleep because you just cant stop thinking about it?
Have you ever been let down?

I have. all these things. Day after day i try to keep my head up but its hard. I mean have you ever been surounded by so many people yet you still felt alone? This is how im feeling now. I dont know. There's a place in my heart thats empty. And i just cant seem to fill this void. I think i know what it is yet it just i guess isnt the right time.

It's like a friend told me...Maybe this is god testing me, this is just a trial i have to over come. I cant think of why this is but there must be a reason he always has a reason for doing what he does. Its hard to see, i pray to him every night asking him to shed some light on the matter yet my prayers remain unanswered. It's not the right time for god to reveal these answers to me. So i just have to keep searching, reaching out for the sign he may be sending me. Looking in all places because i need to find what god is trying to tell me. I have to keep asking, keep praying and one day in some way shape or form he will tell me what ive been longing to know, or better yet SHOW ME. I mean he said

"Ask and it shall be given you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be open unto you. For every one that asketh RECEIVETH, and he that seeketh FINDETH, and to him that knocketh it SHALL BE OPEN!!" -St Matthew 7:7-8

This is exactly what i need to do. I need to follow him. and Just like my buddy said PUT GOD FIRST and he will bless you...everything after that will just fall into place. so God here i am, i will do the things of which you ask of me, and i wont stop knocking until he opens the door. Ill find that happiness, ill fill that void.

I just need to hang in there until this happens...and it is so difficult to do...

Have you ever...
oh have you ever felt this way.