It's about time that i've made up my mind...

Every night as i pray i've been asking of god to please answer my questions. I knew that answers didnt always come right away but as i reflected today i realized that my answer was here all along, i just didnt realize it.

The first answer came from my book of mormon class the next day the hymn we sang pertained these words in them that made my heart stop, it was as if god was talking to me...
"Be faithful and fearless, onward press onward, the goal is in sight. Eyes that are wet now ere long will be dry!"

And once again in my Book of Mormon class i knew that he answered my prayers. I've never felt this way not until i came to this place. Normally when things didnt work out with so many different people im left sad, wondering why im not good enough. And now i look at it as maybe HE ISNT good enough. Until now ive always thought i was the one not good enough that isnt the case. The guys that ive had my eye on i dont think would spiritually lift me up, but actually the reverse effect. And as i asked god why things never worked out and to please help me, comfort me he did just that. For some odd reason the past 2 guys that havent reallly worked out the way i wanted to here i wasnt sad, i didnt dwell on it. It was strange, and this IS the lords hand. He made me strong, stronger than ive been in a long time. As i continue my daily scripture study i grow more and more each day, i see things and as i read 1 nephi its as if god knew me, he knew i had to read these words to get me through at this time. And what a blessing it all has been!!

Walking back thinking of how much the lord loves and knows me it made me want to weep, how naive i was to not have thought of him before. Its like today in class that as we persistantly ask god the same question we may think that's being diligent but its not. That isn't enough, it isn't enough to merely just ask god to help, or to answer a question, you have to search for the answer you have to take the time to think about things. and ask yourself this question...

Have ye inquired of the Lord?

If the answer is no, then seek ye this day. Find him in your life, for at first i wont deny i was regretting coming her, i was out of my element it felt like. Everyone had there clique already and i had not found mine, but i dont want one, i want friends from all over, different styles, personalities. I cried on night, asking did i make the right choice coming here to this college, and now its evident that this was the ONLY choice. I believe i was to come here and experience these things, that i had to over come these obstacles to grow stronger to strengthen my faith, and that is precisley what has happened. This university has magic, the magic will win over your heart and overwelhm you with the spirit if you allow it to do so.

So instead of asking myself IS IT HARD??
I need to reply with... NO ITS WONDERFUL.

Prophet hinkley is my inspiration for this.
I KNOW now that im okay. I know now that i am strong, for i have the lord in my life, and this light cannot be hid. And i will not lose it, i willl cling to the iron rod, and do what is right. God is my light. God is my strength.

Ill go where you want me to go dear lord, over mountains or plain or seas. Ill say what you want me to say dear lord....ILL BE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE!